HALLELUJAH!
It was midnight, in Thailand,
All the aircrews were in bed.
When up stepped Colonel Seaver,
And this is what he said;
"Pilots, gentle Navs, Fighter Pilots all,
Switchblades, gentle Switchblades",
And all the pilots shouted: "BALLS!"
When up stepped a young PWSO,
With a voice as harsh as brass,
"You can take those GD Aardvark jets,
And shove them up your ass!"
HALLELUJAH CHORUS
Up and down Nu Gia,
I know the route by rote.
The airplane's at two hundred feet,
My balls are in my throat.
The eighty-fives go flashing by,
They're bursting all around.
Don't make no f@#$ing difference,
I'll probably hit the ground.
CHORUS
I crossed the ridge at Xuan Son,
My airspeed it was high,
I looked out the window,
A seagull passed me by.
The seagull gave a grunt and shit,
The engine gave a wheeze,
"MayDay, MayDay, MayDay,
SOF's instructions please!"
CHORUS
I flashed across the target,
My bombs they did not go,
I looked at my right seater,
He said "F@#$ , I don't know!"
I racked her hard up and left,
And straight ahead we flew,
I cursed General Dynamics,
And f@#$ing Elmer's glue.
CHORUS
We cycled all our switches,
Reset my reference light,
The 'gator jumped into the scope,
He swore with all his might.
I did a hard one-eighty,
To try and save the mission,
The WSO threw his hands up high,
We don't have a prediction!
CHORUS
I flew my traffic pattern,
To me it looked all right.
My airspeed read one-fifty,
My God I racked it tight.
The airframe gave a shudder,
The engines gave a wheeze;
"MayDay, MayDay, MayDay,
Spin instructions please!"
CHORUS
I flew my cross-wind landing,
My left wing hit the ground,
I heard a call from mobile,
"Pull up and go around!"
I yanked that switchblade in the air,
A dozen feet or more,
The engines quit, I almost shit,
The gear came through the floor!
CHORUS
We got the bird back to the ramp,
Or what was left of it,
The crew chief took one look at it,
My God I thought he'd shit,
I'll never fly switchblades again,
This flight will be my last.
I checked tomorrow's schedule,
I'm set to double blast!
CHORUS
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